I should be grateful for the life I have lived so far. There have been dull moments in my life as well as bitter and outstanding escapades. The time I have been most grateful for and also hated is starting over in my career and personal life. These have come every 3 to 5 years out of my choice or forced on me. Am talking about the life changing start overs that happen after years of being hurt, bored or sudden realization that I was not living to my fullest potential. So, I decided to wake up and become more involved in my life with no regrets of the things I had failed to do yet I had the potential to deliver.
The price for a new beginning is always high. Leaving your comfort behind and embarking on a journey that entails losing friends, going to unfamiliar places or new careers. It starts with;
Confusion of whether it will be worth it.
This stage lasts longer than the rest if you don’t have guidance from the right people. This is the time to rewrite your story and make it great. The blue print 20 years ago may need drastic changes because you have gone far off the course you set out. You might be tempted several times to go back to the familiar because it’s comfortable but there is no turning back. If you cave to the pressure and go back, you will be worse off, empty and injured because the effort created questions that you fail to answer. Hence more confusion, depression and inner death that takes a piece of you day by day.
This is the stage Christians call ‘All is well with my soul.’ You exist in an episode of utilising what you got. You ensure whatever is You, produces the best results at that time. When you find what you have been looking for, you fine tune it to work for yourself first because you understand that you come first in your life. After experimenting with you, you will run to save the world because you know the formula.
The sacrifices are made because you have to move forward and leave all the guilt behind. Relations suffer but you know the most important ones stay. Bishop T.D Jakes mentioned how the relationship with God and self-matter the most. Friendship and family come after. I remember the first friend I ever lost. It took me years to get over her because she left abruptly. I wasted more time looking for an explanation why she had left and what I had done wrong. Being loyal meant I could not move on and for years I kept thinking about her. Eventually, I asked my heart to move on and we agreed no more inconsiderate friends. Friends should understand and value the time invested in the relationship. Perhaps this was my first personal do overs in the friendship department. It’s not the friends that betray you that bring heartache but the ones who walk away without a goodbye.
Protect your most vital resources: independence and room to manoeuvre during a do over, chances are you will get bored and frustrated with the ‘silence’ that comes with independence. Use the silence as redrawing board sessions to see put your experience to use.
Dare to dream further than you thought you would.
Chief operating officer of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg said; Every day, we encounter things we love and things that need to change. The former gives us joy. The latter fuel our desire to make the world different. Still, we dare ask: Can one individual make a difference? And, in our bravest moments: Could that one individual be me?