By the time you see the steam from the boiling kettle, it means the tea has been simmering for a while.
The double-edged sword of experience has so far been right about human nature. Sometimes everything is bang-up with people around us and other times not so rosy. We rely on humans around us for their judgment and acceptance of who we are. This support system is meant to empower and offer a foundation that evolves the best version of ourselves. This change guarantees better growth not only for us but the people we let into your circle. It takes courage to let these people in, well aware of the baggage they carry while you are also dealing with yours. But they must be in place in order for you to grow or to move forward.
Every single day, you give yourself permission to love, live or even build a relationship with thyself while also leaving rooms for other people in your life. While you choose to love yourself unconditionally, that does not mean the other people will make it easier for you to love them. Once in a while, friction is needed to analyze and help the relationship grow. When this friction starts, are the parties involved aware that they are losing you one minute of every hour?
You start with one toe at the time and by the time you realize the whole body is out of the day, is a year later. It’s only when the relationship reaches its expiry date that many couples have asked themselves several times when it happened? When did their spouses stop loving them? Where were they when all of this went down the drain? One of them did not even realize that the other party had already left the relationship despite the fact that they were still sharing a bed. Where are people when the signs are right in front of them that are leaving something that is supposed to be valuable to them? It’s like getting lost in broad day light and every witness will have the same submission; ‘But she was just right here. I saw her a few minutes ago. She was saying something about….Oh was it the travelling or trailer or trains.’
The thing about losing you is, that they will not remember the last thing they said to you. They will go back to the memory box and find no information available forever. It is like your entire existence was wiped which might be a good thing if you do not wish to return. But if you wanted to be remembered by this person who you spent a decade with? Will it hurt that it will not matter to them once you are gone? Then you remember what Louise Fitzhugh once said; ‘Sometimes you have to lie. But to yourself, you must always tell the truth.’ You had to leave because you could not lie to the person who was there for you always. You.
When you are gone, you will blame everything on them. Maybe if you had chosen to communicate in the language they understand, would it have turned out differently? Just sending out vibes was not enough to communicate to them, both parties needed to find the ‘we’ that had been there before. Don’t forget that most times it is not about You. You are nothing without We.