I have probably watched the Ted x talks more than anyone I know. At first, it was because of the catchy topics but after two minutes of the preview, I got hooked on inspiration. The thing I find fascinating about the talk is the sharing. I always listen, relate and learn different issues that are being presented. Once in a while, a quote gets stuck in my head and stimulates my mind especially when am down. By the way, I always go for quotes when am sad because there is something about wisdom that lifts and shakes away the cobwebs that choose to build up so fast in the head once you let it.

The talk gives me a new perspective and strength when I need it the most. I remember the first time I saw the event, I was particularly disturbed for months thinking if I was ever called to be part of the talk, what would I talk about. A lot of ideas had already found their way to the discourse. Topics like; Shit happens, Sexuality, Trust the Struggle, Change Your channel, Re imagining your PhD and others. All my topics were taken and I had to figure out what I would passionately talk about. Then it occurred to me that there was something I knew that other people would like to hear about. I decided to focus on something that has almost repealed me apart but at the same time given me the strength and courage to grow. The lessons have been difficult and had to over come but made me a better version of myself. So, If I was given an opportunity to be at Ted x talk, my topic will be personal and closer to heart in hope that someone out there will be inspired by this person who has found capability and bravery in other people’s story. My topic will be;

When you don’t know what to do.

We all hate it when we are unsure of what to do. Every person has been through this. I guess it is much harder for people who are so sure of life. You are sure of your career, life partner and future. I have met people who will tell you the exact day, place and year they will get married and even have kids. What happens when one day your plans don’t go as planned? Do you go back to the drawing board? What if you are already past the drawing board and you have already seen yourself on the moon? Is it even possible to rethink your way back to biggest dreams that you had hoped to come true? Just imagine the confusion of trying the roads you have already been on. The original ideas have gone from your head or is it that they are deeply buried in your brain that it takes longer to get them back and you have no patience for that? How can something that was there get lost in the maze and you cannot find the map out of it? Beats me. No wonder we are always told to save our energy for bigger battles in life. They never tell you that the biggest conflict will be with yourself. You fight with someone who already knows your weaknesses and strengths. Your inner turmoils and flaws.

So what do you do when you don’t know what to do?

Oprah says; Be Still.

I tried it and I opened a can of worms that I had been saving for a holiday. That is when the brain will bring forth all the bad memories that you had chosen to keep in the safe. That reminds me of that episode of ‘Will and Grace’ where the characters of Karen Walker and Will Truman had imaginarily opened the baggage boxes they had locked away for years. After the process, She was not the same person because of the skeletons that were now crawling out.

Not knowing what to do is the step in the right direction. The ‘I don’t know’ moment gives you time to process your priorities and get you back on your destiny. Growing up has never been easy. While it breathes life into you, it also takes away a piece of you. No wonder it is said that; the snake only shades its skin because we only become who were truly meant to be over the years by removing and polishing a piece of what was supposed to be there.

Growing takes courage and strength. Something that comes from patience, miseducation and mistakes. We go through the unsure period to find our way back to where we all started but this time on a strong foundation. I guess that is why it is called growing up. No short cuts. No bull shirts. We get 3 trials for every test we fail in life but when someone says have fun in the process, you never see it there. There is no fun in waiting and detours if you never get to understand why it is happening. Every person needs kindness and saving. Those who say they do not need it, no one has ever been kind to them hence require saving.

As Ellen Degenerous says; Be kind to one another.

As we try to save others, we are also saving ourselves. Thank You.

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