Lately, I have been thinking how we are always in conflict with someone intentionally or unintentionally. How can we foster world peace when we cannot even stop the war within? I aim for peace of mind so I can sleep like a baby at night or any other time I choose to nap. But do you know what happens? I start to think of my day and realize, I am at war with one person in the world. When I woke up that morning, I did not factor that in. I did say, “Let’s start a war with this individual. Or let’s make someone unhappy.”
I don’t know what happens but every time I solve a disagreement with an individual, the next thing I know I have another victim. I used to have a roomie who was evil… do you know stepmother evil? For a long time, I could not get her out of my mind. Her presence left me devoid of happiness and her stinging words left scars that would not heal. I could not avoid her because we were sharing space and sometimes a commute. I even thought of ways of dealing with it;
- I thought of other things that were not related to her.
- I thought her away from me. Do you know that mantra; ‘Whatever you don’t like you attract?’ The more I hated her, the more she appeared in my life. So I wished her away… far away from me. Now I don’t know where she is.
- I made arrangements for separate accommodation. Slowly by slowly, she left my mind and life.
This question did not appear to me today. It has been bothering me for a while. How can say; ‘I am peace-loving when I don’t like someone.’ After solving one disagreement, I create another. Do we thrive on conflict? I asked the question in Quora and someone gave me an answer I needed; ‘We are always, at some level, most likely in conflict with ourselves, unless we have attained some form of pure enlightenment. Even then, our bodies are always fighting against an eventual death.’
Another answer I like went along this line; ‘Yes, we constantly fight with ourselves, all through our lives. And unlike all other battles, where one loses and one wins, in this case, you always win, either by making the right decision or learning from the wrong decision’
Another; “Even if we have nobody in our lives to cause us conflict, we easily find ourselves in conflict with people who aren’t there. Maybe a past relationship we haven’t healed from, or the version of our parents who live in our heads, based on our childhood relationships. Most are the ongoing conflict with other people is based on some unresolved conflict within ourselves. Once we resolve that conflict, we usually either separate ourselves from those people or accept them as they are. (This, of course, assumes we are able to separate: sometimes we can’t, and we must learn to abide that conflict).” This helped a lot and I hope it helps another person who at one time has a question similar to mine.
In all the answers I received, the emphasis was the conflict within. Maybe if there is no war internally, there is no need to start fires outside. We notice these conflicts more compared to the happier moments in our lives. We are always on the lookout for the next instability in our lives. Until we make peace with whatever is bothering us, I guess the conflict will flourish. By the way, come to think of it; these people I have conflicted with have taught me one thing or another. One taught me to always win. Another reminded me of my worth and capabilities even in worst of situations.