The most noble things you can do is to give to others. The sages of the East call it the process of shedding the shackles of self. Giving more to those around you, whether this means your time or your energy.
Author Robin Sharma
All of your life you have been told to be considerate to others. Help those in need, be more understanding and be there for humanity because their road might be harder than yours. You follow the notion that if you burn yourself out in serving others, you will be the first to reach heaven. You become a servant and a master of none. Something is embedded in your soul that while you wish for designer shoes, it is privilege that you should never take for granted because someone else might not even have feet. It makes you conscience about all the decisions and anything you ask to receive. You are mindful what you ask the universe. At the back of your mind you know you deserve better. You know you have worked hard so you deserve a thousand wishes. But you have to consider others who have little to eat, drink or nothing at all.
While being humane and considering others, you forget to live your best. Life passes you by and then one day, you wake and you realize you should have enjoyed your sweat. You should have taken that holiday without feeling guilty or asking permission to live your life.
Other times you are a victim of innocence. You are a good person and cater for the needs of others before yours. If someone says they need something and you are able to deliver, you oblige.
They tell you every single time; ‘This one is on you. I will pay next time.’
You take over all the bills. Rent, food, airtime and if you two have children, you take care of the school dues. You are doing your part as best as you know how. At the beginning you do not even realize how well you play your role; digging the hole that you will soon bury yourself in. You let off the other person easily. You don’t want to be burdened by their;
I didn’t receive the money this week.
I will get at the end of the month.
I have a loan that I am servicing.
You have heard all the excuses before that you learn to take care of everything. That means not asking the other person to make a contribution. Because when you ask you will receive the same old answer.
‘You can take care of this, can’t you dear?’
‘You don’t look needy dear. I am sure you can manage.’
‘That is minor handle it. I have bigger plans to deal with.’
You wake up one day and you ask one question that changes the equation; “What is the role of this person in my life? Have I been used by this person all this time? How did I get here?
Then the most important inquiry comes much later after the blaming yourself. If I subtracted him from my life, will my well being be affected?”
You give this friend a boot and you feel a bit lighter. The feeling is short lived because deep inside you can not erase what has been done to you. The aftermath rains on the next person who comes into your life…
The later put up with a lot because they have to keep up with the new you. If you have chosen to better your life, you would not want another person soiling your soul. You make it harder for them to get in. You make them pay for the sins of the old ghosts. You push them to work hard. You don’t let them off the hook like the previous because you learnt a valuable lesson that once you let things be, nothing will be done. If they say I cannot do this, you ensure you find a way to make them do it. Not tomorrow but within the hour because you cannot afford the laxity. You know the consequences, so you run a tight ship. If they are letting their body run off and are gaining more calories than you, you get them on a diet. Let them exercise. If they are telling you; I do not have money for 3 consecutive nights, you probe and find solutions. You don’t let things be. This is not a time to let go and let things be. That is a scenario for your soul and spirit but not when you are dealing with human beings. You know from the previous and become wiser.
You do not become selfish. But you learn not to create parasites that finish off your time before you are ready to join your ancestors. Basically you learn to say to No with grace to things that do not work for you. You push others to be better because it pushes you too. Resting is around but it might turn into laziness and slack off. Don’t let people take you for granted because you are selfless.